MAY'S ESCAPISM

So... this is becoming a monthly series (YAY)!! I've had far too many essays to write this month but here's what I got up to otherwise!

Movies

1. Athlete A: 4 and a half stars: I knew a little bit about the abuse allegations within Team USA Gymnastics before watching this and I had heard the name Larry Nassar before, but wow, my jaw dropped watching this. I had not comprehended the extent of his abuse and the degree to which the allegations against him were covered up. This was an incredible documentary and was really well done. I was so mad while watching this that I wanted to scream. The extent to which women's pain is disregarded for economic gains is horrific.

2. Darkest Hour: 2 Stars: I had to watch this for a public policy assignment, so not off to a great start. There are a few war movies that I've really enjoyed (Fury in particular, I love that movie), but I have to be in a specific mood for them. And I most certainly was not in the mood for this one. I am tired of movies about old white men with irritating voices and sniffly noses. Also, it was so boring. I liked Lily James and this one shot where a bomb was dropped. Anyway, I got an A+ (Thesis statement: Collective cabinet responsibility and the capacity of cabinet are significant features evident in ‘Darkest Hour’; that when analysed ratify Westminster governmental operations in crises), so I can't really complain.

3. Midsommar: 4 Stars: This was my third time watching this film, and god it always gets me. I think each time I watch it I understand more about what this movie is trying to say. Not only does it masterfully tell the story of the psychology of cults and cult followers, but it also underpins a story of loss, belonging and connection. The main protagonist has no one, and the people she meets in this cult are the first people to make her feel seen, understand her pain and validate it. Whilst this is a very strange and twisted movie, it beautifully depicts female rage and in my opinion, is an incredible social commentary (if you can look past the bear, the pie, the chanting and the cliff (IYKYK).

Books

1. I'm Glad my Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy: 4 Stars: I went into this blind as I never watched much Nickelodeon; I'd never seen iCarly or Sam & Cat! The title had me hooked from the moment I heard people talking about it and I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. And wow, it did not disappoint, McCurdy's story was poignant and had me enraptured. It was a devastating read, but I think it was beautifully told, with outright storytelling as well as powerful moments of implication. To have this vulnerable insight into her life and relationship with her mother was captivating and heartbreaking.

2. Purple Hibiscus: 4 Stars: This is my third Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie novel, and it's another blinder. The exploration of religion and abuse was fascinating, the analysis of the public vs the private was beautifully done and added a deeper layer to the abusive father. An outwardly righteous, just and generous man was an abusive and cruel father. I think this contradiction is unfortunately common and was an important theme of the novel. One of the most devastating parts of the book was the protagonist's struggle with discovering her own identity and being at odds with the world around her. The legacy of Christianity in the post-colonial landscape was evident, with the protagonist's father demonising traditional religious practices. My only critiques are that the book was a little slow at times and not very plot-heavy (which of course can be a good thing but I think in this case it needed a greater over-arching plot), but it is still beautiful.

3. My Body by Emily Ratajkowski: 4 Stars: I've wanted to read this for a long time. I love essay collections and I knew that I would be enthralled by this one. Her analysis of the commodification of her body was captivating. This book is powerful, as Ratajkowski walks the ambiguous line between objectification and self-empowerment. It is devastating to read her accounts of men's sense of entitlement to her body. Unfortunately, I think there were parts of this that were a tad tone-deaf. While Ratajkowski touched on the modelling industry's impact on her view of her body, I wish she had analysed the industry itself. It felt as if she was unable to critique the industry and the narratives that it perpetuates. The book focused on men, that men are the centre of her abuse, objectification and subsequently her reclaiming power (valid) but she fails to consider the impact on young girls and women. Whilst she was brave throughout this book, it was disappointing that she didn't touch on her role in an industry that views one body type as beautiful. Furthermore, she doesn't engage with the role money has in being beautiful, beauty is not free, it often takes time, effort and resources. Despite all this (I just think it's interesting and I haven't been able to talk about this with anyone), overall she's a brilliant writer and I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. I hope she writes more in the future.

4. Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach: 3 Stars: Yes, I know, this sounds weird and well, it was. It was also fascinating because I had no idea the extent to which cadavers have been and are used in scientific discoveries. The saddest part of the book was understanding all the animal testing that is used alongside or instead of cadaver experiments. Anyway, this was a bit convoluted and structured weirdly but overall I learnt something!

5. The Ballard of Songbirds and Snakes by Suzanne Collins: 3.5 Stars: Okay, so I hadn't heard the greatest things about this and so I never got around to reading it. However, when I saw the movie trailer I was so excited and of course, I had to read the book first. The first half of the book had me hooked. I was obsessed with the incredible social commentary (as per) and insights into the origins of the hunger games. The last third of the book was a bit of a letdown. It felt rushed and the de-evolution of Snow didn't feel fleshed out enough. I also think the bird symbolism was overdone and took away from the story. Collins made it evident why Snow hated Katniss so much from the beginning, but the overt Mockingjay references went on for pages and trivialised the story. I think the reviews I've seen of this are too harsh, it absolutely was not boring or a cash grab, I think it had a lot to say about what happens to children when they're brought up in oppressive environments. In my mind, it heavily alluded to the alt-right pipeline that many teenage boys find comfort and acceptance in. Anyway, if anyone has read this, PLEASE discuss it with me, I want to hear more thoughts.

6. Weak Side by S.J. Sylvis: 2.5 Stars: Okay, this is one of the better romances that I've read in a while (despite what I'm about to say next). I had high hopes for it actually, and it could've been really good. However, there was misogyny that I just could not ignore. I thought we were past calling women sluts? The vilification of women in this book who have casual sex was not okay. It was disappointing because I liked the main characters and the fake-dating trope was done well (and also hello, a hockey romance!!). Also, for some reason, the main female character lacked agency. Her self-worth was directly tied to other people's perceptions of her. I think the author should've not done that, or at least given some character growth that meant she did not live her life for others.

7. All the Little Lies by S.J. Sylvis: 2 Stars: Okay so I've been sick and I decided to read something else by this author because I was hoping the last book was just a slip-up. But no, this one sucked. I used to be into bully romances when I was in Year 12 (unsure what was going on there, but Peneople Douglas had me in a chokehold). Now that I have an adult brain, they just are not my thing, especially if you can't make it realistic (like who is falling in love with someone who blames you for the death of their mother, dumps an entire tray of food of your head and calls you a worthless piece of shit????). This book was just ridiculous and honestly, I hate read it.

8. Into the Magic Shop by James R. Daty: 1.5 Stars: I was incredibly intrigued by this book because I think the science behind mindfulness and manifestation is fascinating. Neuroplasticity is something I only recently discovered after I started seeing a psychologist. This book had a lot of potential as an accessible book on this topic could be really helpful. I wish the author had hired a ghostwriter because this was terribly written. It is pretentious, narcissistic, badly structured and impersonal whilst also being extremely long-winded. The author attempted to paint a narrative about the power of mindfulness, but he comes across as arrogant and quite frankly, annoying. He refused to ever express his emotions which made very little sense in this context. I feel frustrated because I know it could've been good.

TV shows

1. Night Agent: 4 Stars: So this was surprisingly really good. I am often sceptical of Netflix originals because quite often they're incredibly bad (as we all know). But I loved this one. It was well done, with suspense balanced with an actual understanding of what was going on (I get annoyed when something is confusing for the sake of it). I love a good action/thriller show, so I definitely would recommend this if that's up your alley.

2. Criminal Minds: 5 Stars: I've been rewatching episodes because this is SUCH a comfort show for me and I've been struggling to find something I feel like watching. Specifically, I've been re-watching season five because ELITE cast. For me, this is the real definition of escapism.

3. You (Season Three): 2 Stars: Okay so Elise and I haven't finished this yet (it's really taking a toll on us) but I've decided to write my thoughts on it anyway because we have like one episode left. This is a batshit bonkers show and I have no idea what the fuck is going on. I am so sick of Joe and yet I still root for him for some unexplainable reason. The random orgy that just suddenly happened sent me over the edge, it was so ridiculous. I have no idea how this is all going to be wrapped up but I bet it's going to be insane (not in a good way). I wish this series wasn't so long, or they'd found a better plot because I am finding myself bored more than anything.

Music

I think I'm in a bit of a music rut, I'm not really in love with many songs at the moment and I'm a bit sick of everything that I've been listening to.

Top 5 Tracks

1. Not Strong Enough - boygenius (yup this song is here again)

2. Look At Us Now (Honeycomb) - Live from Soldier Field – 1977 - Daisy Jones & The Six

3. Beige - Yoke Lore (was SO obsessed with this in year 13)

4. The River - Acoustic Demo - Daisy Jones & The Six

5. Sparks Fly - Taylor Swift

I have been into the song 'Moonlight' by 'niceboy ed'. I'm seeing the Jungle Giants live soon, so I listened to them a lot! My favourite at the moment is Love Signs. Also, I listened to Ed Sheeran's new album (the second I heard that Aaron Dessner produced it I had to), and it's pretty good (it reminds me of old ed). My favourite is End of Youth.

Anyway, please recommend me more things to listen to!!!!

Podcasts

I've listened to a few podcast episodes this month while working. I listened to The Daily, the most notable ones were about Ukraine's loss of Bakhmut, Trump's sexual abuse conviction and a #MeToo story.

The episode "An anonymous #MeToo source goes public" was the most fascinating. The conduct of a CBS executive who had numerous sexual abuse allegations was covered up during the #MeToo era. The journalist who exposed the story got here sources from a lawyer working on the case. This woman broke attorney-client privilege and was dis-barred, and felt her life was ruined, whilst the journalist was awarded a book deal for the reporting. The episode unpacked both women's sorrow but also voiced that neither had regrets despite the different tolls the story had on both of their lives and careers. Definitely an interesting listen, you'll like this if you liked the movie 'She Said'.

That's all from me,

I love you lots (and welcome to the new website),

Emily xo